


Not His World

by knitekat



Category: Primeval
Genre: Bingo, Episode Related, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2409086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knitekat/pseuds/knitekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick sits in front of his fire and reflections on the world he left behind and the world he is now trapped in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not His World

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lsellers (Annariel)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annariel/gifts).



> Thanks go to Fififolle for the beta.
> 
> For my bingo prompt: Introspection and Lseller's prompt: Firelight.

Nick lit his fire and poured himself a tumbler of Scotch before he sat in a chair he knew he'd never bought but had... in this world. He hadn't turned the lights on, he didn't want to see the evidence of a life he'd never lived and the flickering firelight helped to hide the differences that the strong, bright lights would strip of their concealing shadows. 

He pulled out a crumpled photo of himself and Claudia and just stared at it in the flickering light cast by the fire. He sighed before raising his glass in a silent toast to Claudia and to Ryan, to all those he had known. To all those whose lives had been re-written by whatever had happened in the past, by whatever corruption of time letting the future predators loose in the past had caused. 

It had been bad enough that he'd returned through the anomaly to report that Ryan and his men weren't coming home, but then to suffer the double blow of learning Stephen – a man Nick had relied on after Helen's disappearance – had actually lied to him about their friendship coupled with the disappearance of Claudia Brown – a woman he had grown fond of... more than fond of – had been a hammer blow. 

He knew the rest of the team thought he'd lost it and Nick supposed grabbing Lester by his lapels and ranting about Claudia hadn't helped, that or almost falling over in his realisation that they'd changed the present by changing the past. Connor was the only one willing to listen to him and... well, as much as Connor was a good kid, he was a conspiracy geek and Nick remembered far too well the thesis the lad had submitted about the origin of life due to alien intervention. 

In the past, he would have talked to Stephen... Nick gulped a mouthful of Scotch. Bloody hell, how could he ever trust the man again? He had trusted Stephen in his darkest moments, when he drank himself into a stupor almost every night and only Stephen's intervention had probably prevented his death more than once... but now, how could he trust him now? How many other lies had Stephen told over the years? Why had he stayed with Nick? To find out what had happened to Helen? Out of some sense of guilt over the affair? Nick didn't know and didn't ask, he couldn't trust himself not to punch Stephen if he didn't like the answer. So he'd told Stephen he'd forgiven him but it was a lie... another lie, had their whole relationship been built on nothing but lies? Sometimes he forgot and they interacted as they used to and then Nick remembered the lies... how could he trust someone who had lied to him for so long?

He wished he still had Claudia to talk to... and that was another thing this world had thrown at him. Jenny Lewis had appeared in his life, the spitting image of Claudia yet so different. Every time he turned and saw her, he thought for a moment that it was Claudia and then every time the truth hit him again. That he had lost her and he was never getting her back. 

Nick stared at the fire flickering in the grate as he downed the rest of his Scotch. He knew there was no way back to his own world, that he would be stuck here in this... new world. One where the similarities only made the differences so much more noticeable. Nick sighed, he could continue to wallow in the past, in what might have been, or he could move on, find himself a place in this new world and be a part of it. 

He tossed down the remainder of his drink before nodding, what mattered was what he did now and he was not a quitter. He would do his job, he would find a way forward and somehow, he would make this altered life his own.


End file.
